Dr. Sunita Puri-That Good Night
Delivered through the eyes of a physician, That Good Night: Life and Medicine in the Eleventh Hour is a gracious meditation on hope and impermanence.
Sunita Puri is the Medical Director of the Palliative Medicine and Supportive Care Service at the Keck Hospital and Norris Cancer Center of the University of Southern California, where she also serves as Chair of the Ethics Committee.
B: What brought you to the world of palliative care?
I write about this at length in my book, because it's not necessarily an intuitive choice for a physician to pursue. The long answer is that, during my residency, I enjoyed the practice of medicine but felt that the incessant focus on the survival of patients at all costs wasn't resulting in the best patient care. I felt most at home when I sat in conversation with patients about their suffering and pain, and helped them to make choices about their medical care that best reflected their own personal priorities in life. I felt like a "real" doctor when I could ease a patient's shortness of breath and nausea, even while I acknowledged that their cancer couldn't be cured. These are skills that I wasn't really taught in medical school or in residency, yet they comprised exactly the sort of doctoring I'd strived to model. The short answer is that I think it was my destiny in this lifetime to practice palliative care. No matter how hard I tried to talk myself into another branch of medicine, or away from the practice of medicine entirely, a sort of celestial gravitational force pulled me back to this work.
B: What is one lesson you’d like readers to take away from your book?
I hope that readers really consider the idea that death is a gift to us, because it forces us to find and create meaning in the time we have. I also hope that they think about how intertwined, rather than oppositional, medicine and spirituality can really be, particularly when patients and families are facing suffering, loss, and death.
B: What is your idea of perfect happiness?
While it may sound strange, I think that perfect happiness is grounded in detachment from the illusory world. It's being the craggy rock that stands firm in the ocean no matter whether the tide is rough or calm. I find it fascinating that, in the spiritual tradition I grew up with, true joy has no opposite, and no grounding in this worldly reality. Striving for THAT is the work of a lifetime, or perhaps many lifetimes. Because I'm nowhere near achieving this, I consider true happiness right now to be a solid night's sleep in my bed; a few moments of looking at the autumn leaves on the trees outside my hospital; a glass of cold Prosecco; hugging my mother and smelling the citrus of her shampoo; taking a bite of warm pie with melted ice cream; laughing unexpectedly; watching Breaking Bad over and over again and writing down the best lines.
B: What is your current state of mind?
I've been fairly contemplative this fall and winter. This has been a year of tremendous change for me, and I am trying to reflect on the beauty and opportunity that transitions bring, while also celebrating the tremendously positive things that have happened as well. Writing the book was my dream come true, and I hope it continues to reach and influence a wide audience!
B: Who are your favorite writers?
Joan Didion, Richard Wright, Elizabeth Gilbert, Danzy Senna, Ernest Hemingway, Gabrielle Hamilton, Arundhati Roy, and Eckhart Tolle.
B: What are you reading, what’s on your bedside table?
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, The Bhagavad Gita (translated by Jack Hawley), and Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed are always on my bedside table and have been for years. I've recently added The Yellow House by Sarah Broom, Make it Scream, Make it Burn by Leslie Jamison, and The Problem with Everything by Meghan Daum.
B: What is one thing about you that would surprise people?
I am a huge fan of rap and hip hop, which for some reason tends to surprise quite a few people. I grew up in Los Angeles in the 1990s, and Tupac was everywhere and everything. I wrote and edited much of my book listening to Tupac, The Weeknd, Naughty by Nature, Logic, Dr. Dre, Future, Wocka Flocka, Wale, and Snoop.
B: What book would you like to be buried with?
When I'm cremated, I'd like copies of The Bhagavad Gita, The Power of Now, and Black Boy donated to my local library in my name.
B: What is your exit plan? How would you like to die?
I hope that I die comfortably and swiftly, with minimal suffering for those around me. But I know that the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. I'm not sure I'll have the ability to plan this part of life. I just hope I die naturally, and am not killed or assaulted. But if I had a choice, I'd die in the autumn, in the grass, looking up at trees with amber and gold leaves, with the people and animals I love close at hand. I would want someone with me to chant the Gayatri Mantra. I'd want it to be whatever my end is meant to be in this lifetime.
B: If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
I would want to come back as a hawk or an eagle or a pelican. I find each of these birds to be extraordinarily graceful and beautiful, and I envy their ability to soar, to see the world from the most perfect angles.
B: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
When I leave this world, I hope that God tells me that I am pure love, that I have always been loved, that I always will be loved and accepted just as I am.