Koshin Paley Ellison-Wholehearted
When one is Wholehearted, the connection to ourselves and between others collapse.
Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison, MFA, LMSW, DMIN, is the co-founder of the NY Zen Center for Contemplative Care, a certified chaplaincy educator and Jungian psychotherapist.
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DM: What brought you to the world of contemplative care and end of life?
Two things: I was raised in the midst of the AIDS pandemic. Many of our family friends were dying so we spent a lot of time learning how to really be with them in a very ordinary way. And then, in my early twenties, being in a caring relationship with my grandmother during the last seven years of her life allowed me to actually know myself in a different way. It brought me deeper into this work.
DM: What is one practical lesson you learned about life?
Commitment is everything.
DM: What is one lesson you would like our readers to take away from your writing?
You’re not alone. We all struggle, and our suffering is the place of connection. Sharing the suffering can be a place of incredible intimacy, breaking through our aloneness.
DM: What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I don’t have an idea of perfect happiness. For me, perfect happiness is a moment of happiness and happiness is a moment. And so, my idea of a moment of perfect happiness is just experiencing– perhaps even enjoying that moment of happiness.
DM: What are you reading, what’s on your bedside table?
Commentary On The Heart Sutra by Red Pine
DM: What is your current state of mind?
Joyful, and a little hungry.
DM: Who are your favorite writers?
At the moment, Marie Howe, Eve Ensler, Doğen, and Dostoevsky
DM: What is one thing people would never imagine about you?
Well, usually the most surprising is that I was in a fraternity.
DM: What book would you like to be buried with?
Hmmm, I’m planning to be burned, but if I had to be burned with a book it would be Doğen’s Genjokoan
DM: What is your exit plan? How would you like to die?
If I had the choice, I would want to be with my husband, Chodo, my students, and loved ones. Just to be able to say a few things, be with people.
DM: If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
A bee!
DM: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Oh, I never thought about heaven existing! Umm, well hospitality is good, so I guess “Welcome!” would be appropriate.