A New York Times journalist is tasked with investigating the lives of the ‘oldest old’ for a series about life, at the end of life. And like any good story, the ending took everyone by surprise.

DM: What brought you to the world of aging?

You know, initially I didn’t want to write about older people because I imagined the assignment would be about the miseries of aging, a kind of a malady-of-the-month series. But the elders led me to the story when we got into the emotional part of their lives. Although they talked about their problems, they weren’t defined by them. I was truly surprised by the clarity and richness of wisdom these people had to offer. My book, Happiness Is a Choice You Make: Lessons from a Year Among the Oldest Old grew out of the newspaper series.

DM: What is one lesson you’d like readers to take away from your work?

That whatever hardships you are facing, how you frame those experiences makes a difference. You can’t control what happens in life, but you have a say in how you choose to experience life.

DM: What is your idea of perfect happiness?

I think perfect happiness is spending the biggest part of our lives doing the things we like with the people that matter the most to us.

DM: What is your current state of mind?

I’m trying to take a deep breath, and then let it go, so I can take another. I’m just trying to be there for the people that matter, and allow them to be there for me.

DM: How would you spend a perfect day on earth?

In the arms of the woman in my life.

DM: Who are your favorite writers?

Journalists I’ve always loved are Malcolm Gladwell and William Finnegan. I love the novelist Gary Shteyngart.

DM: What are you reading, what’s on your bedside table?

Just one book at a time. Right now I’m reading John’s McBride’s Deacon King Kong, it’s cracking me up, and helping me through this period of time.

DM: What is one thing about you that would surprise people?

I trained briefly to be a professional wrestler for a story.

DM: What book would you like to be buried with?

Ooh, well, I’m not planning to be buried. But maybe I would choose George W.S. Trow’s Within the Context of No Context. I’ve always loved that book.

DM: What is your exit plan? How would you like to die?

No extraordinary measures; I would like to die facing death as just the next thing that’s going to happen to me. I don’t think dying is much different than living. So I want to spend my time doing whatever I’m able to do to make a difference– then I’ll stop.

DM: If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

Myself!

DM: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

John Coltrane’s Spiritual.

You Can support this series by purchasing “Happiness Is a Choice You Make” Using this link

Exit Interviews Are Edited for Clarity.